January 2012
HAI TUMBLR
I’ve been MIA this week. sorry about that. I’ve been on ‘vacation’ from work, taking care of a boy who has been feeling all sorts of shitty.
but now I’m kinda drunk and feel the need to post. I hope you’re all having a super wonderful, super safe holiday.
I’m spending my new years with some awesome people. us girls got all sorts of dressed up, so...
December 2011
dear 2012,
please be better than 2011.
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I HAVE SKRILLEX'S NEW EP
AND YOU DON’T
i was just about to bitch about something written in an article that someone posted on facebook and then i realized the author of that article was just a blogger and the ‘article’ was on yahoo news and i decided my comment was irrelevant.
it also made me realize all the freaking morons that are given the freedom to ‘blog.’ that’s fine, write about whatever the hell...
thewhitestdevilyouknow:
There is a special spot in Hell reserved for the RIAA. It’s a deep, dank cave where they have their eyelids forcibly held open A Clockwork Orange style and they’re forced to watch pirated episodes of The Nanny with Fran Drescher and bootleg copies of National Treasure while hideous, drooling demons shove broken pieces of CDs under their fingernails. All day, every day....
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dear self,
when thomas erak releases a track of any sort EVER, do not drag your feet on listening to it. i knew it had happened, i was just too lazy to click on the link and check it out prior to this. AND I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT.
this track is just ALL OF THE SEX. <333
December 21st, 2011
bigchocolate:
I get comments from time to time from kids from the m3t@l days saying that I went downhill when I started to take my electronic music more serious.
I’m pretty sure taking my electronic music to the next level what the best thing i’ve ever done with my life. I couldn’t be happier what i’ve done with it so far and so stoked to take it to the next level and every level for that...
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if i can manage to get through this next week it will be a wonder.
i’m not looking forward to anything.
i honestly can’t wait for the semester to start so i can be too busy to worry about anything again.
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ALRIGHT
after TWO trips to the mall (which, lucky for me, is directly down the road from this office) i finally found a new nose stud i was able to actually get in. the funny thing is it actually sits better than the original.
i’m getting the hell out of work at 4:30 today and going straight to the gym in hopes to sweat out some of this aggression. i wanted to kill five different cunts in five...
I wish people in real life found me attractive
things are at the ultimate lowest they have ever been for me right now. i’ve never felt so ridiculously alone, not in my entire life.
i suppose it’s never felt like an issue before because i at least always had someone.
i don’t know what i want. and i honestly don’t know how i’m going to get through this. i should probably be speaking to a therapist, but i feel like...
nope, instead I did wake up this morning, ripped my brand new nose piercing right out of my head, and while I was hysterically trying to put it back in I instead dropped it down the bathroom sink.
I did have another of my famous horrible car accident dreams last night though.
everything is just AWESOME RIGHT NOW
I really just don’t want to even fucking wake up tomorrow.
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Watchbigchocolate:
I’m really good at dancing. Like this status.
obvi
as it stands, I will be celebrating my christmas this year as a true atheist, completely alone and pretending like it’s just another day.
just a few more weeks and the holidays will be over. then maybe I can be happy again.
hi my name is amanda
and I am only ever anyone’s second choice.
even my damn CAT is only hanging out with me because my dad hasn’t been around.
lolz
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lolololol
it’s amazing what food can do for you. you know, its ability to provide nourishment and whatnot.
ten minutes ago i was crying. i hadn’t eaten all day. i went up to 7-11, spent money that will most likely result in an overdraft, but that’s ok because i feel a million times better.
WHAT EVEN. fuck, i cannot wait until the day i no longer have to starve because i just...
also
i used to be able to figure out how to pull myself out of being unhappy. i’ve always thought i knew what i wanted and that i could make myself happy no matter what was happening.
what the fuck happened, man.
maybe one of the reasons i so badly wanted us to work out (and why a part of me still does) is because i’m worried no one else is going to accept me for how i am. maybe i feel like, if anyone could just get me, it would be you.
i’m opinionated and those opinions aren’t socially acceptable most of the time. i’m beginning to realize that regardless of how people feel about...
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some days it seems easier to just hate everything.
and like magic...
i am officially registered for two courses for my final semester of my bachelor’s degree.
as of yesterday the two classes i was trying to get into were both full. i kept checking back periodically and both opened up and i was able to register.
one is on monday nights, the other on tuesday nights, which means no having to rearrange my work schedule.
i’m going to be swamped but...
lol
so apparently i’m going to let a 3.9 completely ruin my day.
final grades just came in for the fall semester. i got a 3.9 for my internship.
and that’s fucking lame.
i’m probably going to end up emailing the internship director to see what the fuck is up. i just don’t see any reason for me to not have gotten a 4.0.
but on the other hand i guess it doesn’t matter,...
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him: moist is first, wet is second.
me: huh?
him: first they get moist, then they get wet.
me: oh, right.
sometimes having a life is EXHAUSTING.
i lied. yesterday did get better. sometimes when i’m at my lowest i get to be reminded that, while they are sparse, there is a very small handful of people that genuinely care about me and want to see me happy and smiling. i just need to keep those few people in mind, all of the time.
<3
deteriorating.
today is officially a lost cause.
